By: Leslie Zindulka LCSW-R
Why would anyone put a child up for adoption and deal with all the emotional and legal issues rather than just getting an abortion, which is quick, and permanent?
Parenthood, adoption, and abortion are all options for an unplanned pregnancy. When you first learn that you are pregnant, you will need to consider your options and make an informed choice. You may feel that one option is clearly best for you, or the decision may be a difficult or confusing one. The bottom line is that only you have the right to choose the option that is best for you.
Parenthood is a lifelong journey that doesn’t end when your child enters kindergarten or graduates high school, and it is not for everyone. You have the right to make your own decisions about your body and the right to feel supported in whatever decision you make. Some women may not feel that they are prepared to take on the responsibility of being pregnant and raising a child. There are lots of emotional, economic and social responsibilities to being a parent, and some women feel that they do not want to or cannot take on these responsibilities (either now, or ever).
Abortion is an option you may choose if you feel that you cannot parent a child or experience a pregnancy at this time in your life. Abortion has been practiced in almost all-human communities from the earliest times. The patterns of abortion use, in hundreds of societies around the world since before recorded history, have been strikingly similar. Women faced with unwanted pregnancies have turned to abortion, regardless of religious or legal sanction and often at considerable risk.
Adoption is another option if you feel abortion is not for you and you are not prepared to parent during this time in your life. If you decide to continue your pregnancy but feel that you cannot raise a child at this time, you may be thinking about making an adoption plan. Adoption isn’t necessarily an easy decision either. It is one of the most complex emotional arrangements in which an individual can be involved. Yet, of the other options – aborting the pregnancy or raising the child – adoption may be the most child-centered. It can be a healthy, realistic, and sensible choice for all the parties involved in the adoption triad (birth parent, adoptive parent and adopted child). Adoption is a selfless, loving gesture from a brave woman who has dreams for a child to have a forever family.
The choice is yours and yours alone to make and live with. Well-meaning friends, family members and professionals can and should only offer support and guidance. The bottom line is that only you have the right to choose the option that is best for *you*. The final decision is yours.
by Leslie Zindulka, LCSW-R
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Disclaimer
The information and advice provided is intended to be general information, NOT as advice on how to deal with a particular child’s situation and or problem. If your child has a specific problem you need to ask your pediatrician about it – only after a careful history and physical exam can a medical diagnosis and/or treatment plan be made. This Web site does not constitute a physician-patient relationship.
This material has been provided by AdoptionDoctors.com, an innovative adoption medicine private practice and educational service, dedicated to helping parents and adoption agencies with the complex pre-adoption medical issues of internationally adopted children. All medical interactions are performed via, e-mail, express mail, telephone, and fax. There is no need to make a live appointment or travel outside of your hometown. For more information, visit AdoptionDoctors.com or call 631-499-4114. © Leslie Zindulka, LCSW-R